Happy Birthday to Me!

Saturday was my birthday.  My 39th, for real.  I'm not just saying I'm 39 because I don't want anyone to know I'm actually 42.  I might stay 39 for a while, but I don't think so.  I'm not too worried about my 40s.  My 30s were way better than my 20s, and I'm expecting my 40s will top my 30s.  As I'm getting older,  I'm getting more comfortable with myself.   I'm trying new things, like kaying and running and writing, and I like it.  I'm not as afraid to talk to people I don't know, or to go places by myself.  I'm still self-conscious, but I'm learning to get over it and not worry so much what other people think about me.  I'm stronger and healthier than I've ever been.  I have awesome kids who are growing up to be really great people.  My relationship with my husband is growing and maturing; from him I'm learning the meaning of real love.  We've faced some difficult challenges this year, but we're staying strong together.  So happy birthday to me!   I'm ready for 39 more, at least!

Are YOU Ready?

After last night, I realized more than ever that I'm not!  Ready for a natural disaster, that is.  I guess I feel pretty ready for a major power outage or storm that confines me to my home for a long period of time.  We have a generator which powers our well so we can have water.  It can actually power the whole house for short periods of time (minus microwave, dishwasher, clothes washer & dryer...but those I can live without for a while.)  We have plenty of food in the garage including meat in the freezer.  We have a wheat grinder to grind all my wheat. 

What I'm not ready for is an event that causes my family to have to leave our home.  At last night's Relief Society activity, we discussed 72 hour kits and emergency preparedness.  Thanks to Pam Keyes, emergency prep. guru of BI, and Mary Bell, Theresa Oliver, and Mary Pat Caine, we had a very entertaining, informative evening.  Several women brought their 72 hour kits to show and they were ready.  They could leave their home with their family and feel at peace.  They would have food and water, bedding and clothing, fuel and light, first aid and personal supplies to last them at least three days.  One kit I examined had enough food (in MRE form) to last a family of 6 teenage boys at least two weeks. 

Here's what I have in my 72 hour kit:  three liters of water, four power bars, three MREs, three packets of oatmeal, a brick of "emergency rations" (from 1996, handy as a hammer or weapon I suppose), a rain poncho, some sterno (that I don't even know how to use), a shoddy first aid kit, and a roll of toilet paper.  

I have enough food and water that I wouldn't starve or dehydrate, and I could wipe my...nose, and put a bandaid on a scratch, but that's about it.  I would have to eat the MREs cold since I really don't have a way to heat them.  I learned last night that they have to be submersed in boiling water for about 10 minutes and I don't have a container to do that.

I've come to the conclusion that I need to either beef up my kit, or hope and pray that the disaster that causes me to use the kit happens on a Sunday afternoon (the only time most of my family is likely to all be home together), when I'm fully dressed, and during the summer (so I don't have to worry about keeping warm.) 

Jury Duty

I was going to wait until I was dismissed to write this post, but with all the waiting I've been doing, I might as well get a head start.  I was summoned to jury duty this week.  I was supposed to call in Sunday to find out if I had to report, and when I called, my group number was not requested for Monday.  "Yipee!"  I thought, "This will be easy.  I probably won't have to report at all and it will be over."  Don't get me wrong, I want to serve my community and being on a jury even sounds kind of exciting, but with it being the holiday season, there's just so much going on! 

Monday evening when I called in, I was not so lucky.  I had to report Tuesday afternoon at 12:30.  I still wasn't too discouraged, I thought I would be there for the day and either be dismissed or maybe the trial would settle before it reached court.  After spending from 12:30 to 5:00 at the courthouse going through the jury selection process, I was called back for today at 8:45 to be individually interviewed.  It's 11:00 now, and I'm still waiting!  If I don't get out of here by 12:00, they break for a 1 1/2 hour lunch, and I'll have to wait even longer.  I'm not good at waiting.  I'm getting nervous about being interviewed.  And I'm getting hungry! 

R.I.P. Frontier Bank

Frontier Bank, Brad's employer, ceased to exist at 6:00 yesterday evening.  Reborn at 6:01 as Union Bank, thanks to the FDIC, it feels a little bit like the government believes in reincarnation.  Think about it:  one moment  a struggling, local community bank gasps for breath, making every conceivable attempt to save itself, and the next it's suddenly part of a huge, multi-billion dollar, interstate financial corporation with ties to Tokyo. 

OK, maybe that's not technically reincarnation.  I don't think the Buddhists believe that one soul is merged with a larger, more powerful soul to become someone exponentially greater.  But you can see how it feels a little like a reincarnation, can't you?

Now Brad is an "interim employee" of Union Bank for around 90 days while he waits to see if he's offered a permanent position.  Fortunately his salary will stay the same for now, but he'll have no vacation or sick time.  We should hear about health insurance in a conference call today. 

To be honest, we're both glad this finally happened.  Ever since the "great recession" began, banks have been either bailed out or forced out.  Frontier did not receive any money from T.A.R.P. so we knew a bail out wasn't going to happen.  It's been a waiting game ever since, always with the hope that an investor would step in, but with the growing suspicion that a take over was imminent. 

Now that episode of the waiting game is over, and hopefully the next will be short.  I'm really not that worried, maybe because I try not to think about it too much, but I know we've always made it in the past.  Brad's very smart and good at what he does and he's always been able to provide for our family.  We know that we're doing what we need to on our end, paying tithing, serving, trying to be good parents, preparing for the future, all that good stuff, so as long as we do our best, the rest is in God's hands (or Union Bank's, hopefully with some divine intervention!).

Inspiration

I feel like I passed a huge test last night. As the 2nd counselor in the Relief Society presidency, I'm in charge of the Relief Society activies. Last night was my first one. It was the Christmas Program. Talk about pressure!

Since the new presidency was just called at the end of October, we felt like we didn't have enough time to plan something big and complicated, which was fine with me. I prefer simple. I wanted to do something that would focus on Christ, that would share the Christmas spirit, would involve several sisters, and would be simple. Good music, especially Christmas music, always helps me feel the Spirit, and we have several musically talented sisters in our ward. But I felt like we needed to have something more than just musical numbers, so I thought it would be nice for some sisters to share a special Christmas memory. I had no idea who to ask, and inspiration took over. I love how that happens!

The four musical numbers and the four sisters who shared stories brought exactly the spirit I was hoping for. We were uplited, inspired, touched, and brought closer together. The decorations were another inspiration; my trusty assistant, Carlyn, felt like she should ask a certain sister to be in charge of the decorations and they were perfect. She set the small stage with a cozy setting: a Christmas tree decorated with pictures of Christ, an old-fashioned record player on a table next to it, and a rocking chair, surrounded with pointsettias and lights. For the center-pieces on the tables, I asked a few sisters to bring a nativity. Simple, easy, perfect!

I'm learning a lot in my new calling. One thing is that when you're striving to help your sisters feel the Spirit, it will happen despite doubts or feelings of inadequacy. It was my turn to give the presidency message last Sunday, and I was very nervous. I've never taught a class for adults before, only young women and children. I knew what topic I was going to speak on, Hope, I just wasn't sure about how to present my message. After praying and thinking and reading some conference talks about hope, I wrote down my thoughts and trusted that it would all come out how it should. And it did. One of the thoughts I came across in studying for my lesson is that hope is expectation based on experience. So now I can have hope that my next activity, or my next lesson, will turn out well as long as I strive to help my sisters feel the Lord's Spirit.

Lest you think all I do is Kayak...

That's all I've been posting about lately because it's the fun stuff, but of course my life is full of the utterly mundane as well. And a little bit of not so mundane thrown in every once in a while.

Jillian keeps reminding me to post about "Wicked", which she and I saw two weeks ago (has it really been that long?!) It was so much fun to take her to see her first "Broadway" play! We were fortunate enough to get tickets with a group, so we knew most of the people sitting around us. Before the play we walked from the ferry up to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner. Dining out isn't something we do with the kids very often. Jillian ordered pepperoni pizza. That's one reason why...Anyway, I enjoyed eating and talking with just her. We ordered a piece of Key Lime cheesecake to take with us, and ate a few bites before we left. I was going to put the box into my purse and sneak it into the theater, not to eat during the play of course, just to have afterwards. Well, I forgot to put it in my purse and when we got to the theater, the ticket-taker saw my big Cheesecake Factory bag and told me I had to throw away my left-overs! Bummer! Bigger bummer was when I told some friends about it when we got to our seats and they told me their ticket-taker told them they could coat-check their left-overs! I almost got out of my seat and went to rummage through the garbage to get my cheesecake back! But other than that, the night was fabulous. Jillian LOVED Wicked, as did I. I've seen it before, but it was still amazing to see again. She is still singing the songs two weeks later, since I bought the album and put it on her ipod.

Last Thursday, Brad had his tonsils removed. We were told it's a much harder recovery for adults than for kids and were expecting the worst. The surgery went well. The doctor confirmed afterwards that his tonsils were in really bad shape. Of course he's going to say that, though. What else would he say? "Oh, they really weren't that bad. Maybe we should put them back in." I was very surprised that right after the surgery Brad could still talk. I was expecting him to be in too much pain. But his recovery since then has been slow. He doesn't seem to be feeling much better than he did right after the surgery. The doctor wasn't kidding when he said it would take two weeks.

And then on Friday Kylie got the flu. She denies that it's swine flu, even though those are her symptoms and our doctor said that's what is going around. She hates missing school because she doesn't want to get behind. She's finally feeling better today, so I sent her to school, but then Ben woke up with a fever and cough. When Nate heard Ben was sick, he said, "Oh great! Now we're all going to get it!" Which is probably true, since Ben isn't the best at covering his coughs or washing his hands. I'll have to be extra vigilant! And keep him away from Brad.

Sunday I was released from my Primary Secretary calling (which I had just started two months ago and was LOVING) and my Sunbeam calling (which I hadn't been released from when I was called to be secretary because I wanted to keep the kids until the end of the year because I love them, too!) and was called to be a counselor in the Relief Society Presidency. I haven't been to RS on Sunday for at least eight years since I've had YW and Primary callings. I'm feeling very overwhelmed and out of my comfort zone. We had a wonderful RS activity (can't call it Enrichment anymore!) last night which was the result of the out-going counselor's inspiration. She was so confident and in touch with the sisters and afterwards I just wanted to go home and hide. I'm not comfortable mingling in large groups. I always feel awkward and don't know what to say. My heart is still with Primary! I am much more comfortable sitting with four year olds, eating snacks and talking about being kind to animals.

So that's what I've been up to when I'm not kayaking. Let me tell you, I'd rather be out on the water! Or at the theater watching Wicked!

The Scarlet Letter

I have a new driver in my family. It's been a bit of a nerve wracking experience. I don't really remember learning to drive, but I'm sure I gave my parents the same "heart attack" feeling the first several times I took to the streets.

ONE of the things that scares me is that other drivers don't know that the driver of my vehicle doesn't really know what the heck he's doing, so they can't give him a nice bubble of space, or have extra patience when he's going 25 in a 40 zone. When I first started learning to drive, my mom borrowed a large, white, magnetic "STUDENT DRIVER" sticker from my driver's ed teacher. Smart woman.

I was talking to a woman from Vancouver, BC the other day, and the Canandians have it figured out. When Canadians are learning to drive, they must display a large letter L (for Learner, not Loser) on their vehicle. I don't know what color it is, but I'm imagining that it's bright red, hence the Scarlet Letter. There is no shame in displaying a symbol of your novice status to the world. In fact, I think it would be very comforting. Everyone would know that you need some extra space and time and not glare at you or send you threatening hand gestures.

I think I'll send a letter to my congress-person suggesting we adopt this brilliant idea.

It's Hot, Hot, Hot...and I'm a Wimp, Wimp, Wimp!

Don't get me wrong, I'm loving the sunny, warm weather we've had for the past two weeks. Today is getting close to uncomfortable for me, though. 86 at 3:30 in the afternoon. I'm starting to worry about going to the Philippines in 2 1/2 weeks...if I'm hot when it's 86 with 19% humidity, what am I going to do in 90+ with 100% humidity? Melt.

Girlfirend's Retreat

My friend Brooke invited me and two other friends to spend last Saturday and Sunday with her at Ocean Shores. She was feeling the need to take a break from being a mom and reconnect with herself, and I was only too happy to help!

I feel like I got an extra night away from mommy-hood, since Friday night was the annual father/son campout (which I was going to post about, but Brad wasn't feeling well when they went and didn't take any pictures) and he took Nathan and Ben. I spent Friday night with Jillian and Kylie, first at Teryaki Town for dinner, then Mora's for icecream, then dropped Jillian off at a birthday party and Kylie took me out to see the new Star Trek movie.

When the husbands got home Saturday morning, the wives took off. We headed out to Ocean Shores and ended up at Collin's Inn and Seaside Cottages, the perfect spot for relaxing. The cottage we stayed in was beautiful, only a few months old, and right by the beach. Waiting for us was a beautiful boquet of flowers and a plate of chocolate covered strawberries with a card that said "To our Wives, with Love from the Husbands."

I felt so refreshed spending time with friends away from daily responsiblities and children's demands. Standing on the porch watching the sunset was bliss.

Sunday morning, I went for a long walk, and I learned something about myself. I might be able to be a jogger someday if I lived in Ocean Shores where the roads are all totally flat and there are bright yellow fire hydrants every 1/8th of a mile encouraging me to "just jog past two then walk past two, and repeat..."

After we checked out of our cottage, we drove down to the beach and sat in the warm sand. Although the sun wasn't out like we were expecting, it was still nice to listen to the waves and run my fingers through the sand without worrying about anything.

It was a wonderful weekend. I learned a lot about my friends, too. I learned that Outi can laugh and cry at the same time, and make me do the same. If I'm ever in a brawl, I want Mariann on my team. And if I ever go elk hunting, Brooke's the babe to bring along to call the elk!

(Sorry the video is tilted wrong. I always forget that I can't turn the camera like that when I'm video taping!)

Itchy Eyes

Has anyone else noticed the over-abundance of pollen in the air this year? I've never seen it this bad...even when it rains and I think the air will clear, it rides on the waves of water over our driveway. I normally have mild seasonal allergies, but this year I want to tear my eyes out! They have been itching like crazy for at least a month. I finally broke down and bought some allergy eye drops. Guess what? They make my eyes burn! So now my eyes itch AND burn! I'm starting to question whether Spring is really my favorite season...

Happy Mother's Day!

I hope all you wonderful women out there are having a wonderful mother's day, whether you are a mom or not! We all have moms, and even if our relationships with them aren't the best, we can find something to be grateful to them for. I feel so blessed to have a great mom, and to live so close to her. Except this year she's in South Carolina visiting Tyler, Rachael and Hudson. Brad's mom is also out of town, in Hawaii meeting little Jane. So our traditional mother's day dinner will be a little quieter this year.

The kids woke me up this morning with a delicious breakfast in bed. They made bacon and eggs and crepes filled with a yummy strawberry sauce. And they gave me wonderful presents: Jillian gave me a bag she sewed all by herself and a marbled paper box she made, Ben gave me several pairs of earrings, and Nate and Kylie gave me a beautiful glass hummingbird feeder.

Our church meeting was very nice as well. Somehow, the two speakers on the program weren't ever asked if they would speak, so the meeting was opened up for people to talk about their moms. I loved the fact that some of the first people to get up were three teen-age boys. All three brought tears to my eyes as they talked about how much they each love their mom and appreciate all the sacrifices she makes for them. One was especially touching, a young man who has come from a difficult background, whose family was literally homeless when they moved here and has gotten into some trouble in school, talked about how strong his mom was and how she worked so hard to keep their family together.

I also loved hearing from Katie about the importance of the little things we do. I need to make sure I take advantage of the everyday opportunities to spend time with my kids before they're all grown up. So when Jillian complained of not feeling well and didn't want to go to her Primary class, instead of sending her to sit with Brad, I let her come and help in my Sunbeam class. It's a good thing I did, too! The kids were very excitable today, to say the least. Hopefully they got all their extra energy out so they could let their moms relax this afternoon...

Mommy-brain strikes again!

I think I've hit a new low in the forgetfulness category. This morning, I forgot to EAT BREAKFAST. I never forget to eat! I love to eat, and I really like breakfast. And I'm always nagging my kids to eat breakfast. It's the most important meal of the day, you know!

Our routine was a little different this morning. Ben had to get to school at 8:55 for a field trip to Seattle, so we left the house at 8:35 to pick up his friend, drop Jillian off with a friend so she could catch the bus, and take Ben and the friend to school early. I got home, excited that I have the whole day without the kids. I put dinner in the crockpot and did the dishes while listening to a few General Conference talks, then went upstairs to pay bills. I was sitting at my computer entering electronic transfers when my stomach started growling really loudly.

"That's strange," I thought. "I'm usually not hungry at 10:30 in the morning." And I'm not, because I usually eat a good breakfast.

Then I started feeling kind of shaky and light-headed. Sure signs that I haven't eaten recently.

That's when it hit me that I hadn't eaten breakfast! Sometimes I get really busy and knowingly eat a meal later than normal, but I never actually FORGET to eat.

So as I'm posting this, I'm eating a big bowl of homemade granola mixed with "Crunchy Nuggets" (Safeway's generic brand of Grape Nuts) and dried cranberries, and a little bowl of vanilla yogurt. The shaky, light-headed feeling is subsiding, and my stomach isn't growling anymore. Hopefully I won't forget to do anything else really important today, like pick up Ben and his friend from the field trip this afternoon!

Irony

So last night the kids slept beautifully, not one peep out of any of them after 10:00. It was me who was keeping us up! I woke up around 2:30 with a tickle in my throat and kept coughing off and on for about an hour. Poor Brad had gotten up earlier because he couldn't sleep and when he came back to bed, right about 2:30, I kept him up with my coughing!

It was a nice thought...

Last night as we were laying in bed talking, Brad said he was going to drive in to the ferry in the morning and would take Nate to seminary on his way. Yipee! I thought. I'll get to sleep in!

Here's how the night/early morning went:

11:15 Lights out
1:43 Jillian woke up. She'd had a nightmare and wanted to sleep in Kylie's room.
2:12 Ben woke up. He'd had a nightmare. I tucked him back in.
5:45 Ben woke up again. I tucked him back in.
6:30 Brad's alarm went off and he got up.
6:45 Ben woke up again and crawled in bed with me.
7:05 Matzo started barking at something outside.
7:15 Brad came into the room looking for the check book.
7:20 Nate came into the room looking for his library card.
7:35 Kylie started practicing her bass clarinet.
7:45 I finally gave up and got out of bed.

Oh well, it was the thought that counts, right?

Recurring Dreams

I find dreams interesting, especially recurring dreams. I've never "studied" the meanings of dreams or anything. I know there are people who do that, and maybe it would tell me something about myself, who knows?

In my dream, I'm driving a car and the brakes go out. I'm usually driving down hill and trying unsuccessfully to stop the car. Sometimes it's a car, sometimes a truck, sometimes I'm in the city with a lot of other cars, sometimes in the country on a quiet road. That part varies, but the failing brakes is always the same. I press my foot as hard as I can on the brake and nothing happens. The vehicle gains speed and I try to find a place to crash where I'll do the least amount of damage. I've never actually crashed in my dreams. Sometimes I'm able to tell myself in the dream that it's only a dream. Other times I wake up in a panic and it feels very real.

I had this dream again last night. I was driving in a big parking lot, trying to find a parking space. Some kind of construction was going on and there were several large trucks driving through the parking lot. In some sections of the lot big ditches ran across, cutting off parking spots. In others, I had to steer around huge piles of gravel. I wasn't going very fast, but I couldn't stop the car to park. I'd see a space ahead and try to steer into it, but the car just wouldn't stop. Then I finally thought, "Maybe if I pump the brakes, the car will stop." And it did. For the first time ever in my recurring dream, I was able to stop the car!

I'm not really sure what this dream means, if anything. It seems to say something about being out of control. Maybe being able to stop the car means something, too. I'm not really sure, but I thought it was very interesting.

Let the Sunshine In!

OK, so maybe it wasn't actually Sunshine, but at least it's brighter in my kitchen. I just discovered that removing the screens from my kitchen windows lets a lot more light in! I don't know why I didn't think of this before today. For some strange reason, I decided to clean the screens this morning. My screens are on the insides of the windows (which I hate and if I was building my house over again would not choose) and when I took them off, the whole room lit up! Then I actually washed the windows, and it lit up even more! Now, if I only had a retractable roof on the back porch...

25 Random Things

I got this off my friend Jen's Facebook page and thought it was interesting. I'm not quite up for the whole world reading 25 random things about me, so I'll post it here instead. These are the first 25 things about myself that popped into my head.

1. I'm trying to write a novel. I've been working on it for over 2 years and I'm maybe 1/2 way through the first draft. It's hard work, I don't know what I'm doing, but I love it!

2. I check my bank balance and transactions religiously every morning.

3. I hate running and I don't have an athletic muscle in my body.

4. I walk for exercise, but not as often as I'd like to.

5. My favorite color is blue, followed closely by green.

6. I love to read, especially English Literature.

7. I earn extra money by cleaning houses. Over the summer I cleaned for a woman who is a rental agent, but her business has been very slow lately. On Tuesday, I'm going to start cleaning once a week for a friend who is blind.

8. I'm going to the Philippines this summer with Kylie and my friends the Hooyers!

9. I wish I could lose 10 pounds, but I don't have enough will power to stop eating junk or to exercise as much as I need to.

10. I married an illegal alien.

11. I teach the Sunbeam class (3 & 4 year-olds) at church and I love it!

12. I love filing our income taxes. I use Turbo Tax. We always get a huge refund.

13. I have sensitive skin and can't use scented laundry detergent or fabric softener.

14. One of my pet-peeves is people reading over my shoulder when I'm writing.

15. My dad and I did all the electrical wiring in my house.

16. I had the same boyfriend my last three years of high school and first year of college. I thought I was going to marry him, but I didn't.

17. I took AP Calculus, AP European History and AP Spanish in high school. I didn't pass any of the AP tests, so I didn't earn any college credit.

18. I wanted to be a teacher when I grew up, until I had my own kids.

19. All four of my children were born by c-section.

20. I had major surgery two months after my first child was born to repair a fistula that had formed between my bladder and uterus, caused by the doctor cutting my bladder during the emergency c-section delivery.

21. I had a catheter for the entire two months before the surgery and I had to take medication that made my urine blue.

22. I still love to lick the beaters when I make a cake.

23. I really like to make (and eat) soup: minestrone, butternut squash, chicken noodle, and chili are some I make regularly.

24. I sat three seats away from Minnie Driver at the world premiere of the movie "Take" in New York City.

25. I'm really good a remembering phone numbers.

Now it's your turn!

What do you Google?

Another one I got from Brooke...

She says you can click on your Google pull-down tab to see what you've Googled most recently. When I tried it, it just gave me an alphabetical listing of my Google-ings. So I had to go a little more in depth and found Google Web History, which I think is a pretty cool tool, especially now that my kids are getting older and I need to monitor a lot more closely what they're searching for on the internet. Google Web History will list what's been searched for by day and time, which websites have been visited and how often. Big Mother is watching!

Anyway, the idea is to list the last ten things Googled on your computer. Here's what my Web History had to say...

1. Washington State Ferry (Brad checking the ferry schedule this morning)
2. 5 dollar dinners (new blog I found about frugal cooking)
3. Seattle Times: Gaza (glad someone in our house is keeping up on current events, that would be Nate, not me!)
4. bainbridge island adu (ADU stands for accessory dwelling unit, Brad was checking on rules for building an ADU)
5. off the wall holidays (OK, this one was me...when I was bored the other night...)
6. what day is it (me again, now I feel really dumb!)
7. MS 2007 office compatibility update (trying to figure out why I couldn't read .docx attachments)
8. sunset magazine (me, looking for an article a friend told me about, didn't find it)
9. tennessee 1888 (me, doing some research for my story)
10. caesar salad recipe (unfortunately, not me! caesar salad sound really yummy right now, though. I think this might have been Kylie...maybe she's planning to surprise me!)

Pants

Can anyone please tell me why it is so hard to find a pair of pants that are comfortable, nice-looking, not too trendy, fit well, and will not send me into bankruptcy? Am I the only one who has this problem?

First of all, I have to find places that sell Tall sizes. I'm not really that tall, 5'8", but I have a short torso and long legs, and large-ish hips and thighs. I've thought for a long time that the top half of my body does not match the bottom half. The top is size small and the bottom half is size large. I digress; back to finding Tall sizes...since I HATE shopping, this is not easy for me.

Once last year I tried going to the mall to search all the stores I've never been in. I made it into about two before I got a huge headache. I ended up going back to JCPenney, which I know carries Tall sizes, and found a pair of jeans that would do, but weren't quite exactly what I was looking for. They're a little too "low-riding" for me, but I've been wearing them for a while, making them work by always wearing a long, tucked-in t-shirt. I did find a great pair of brown corduroy pants at the Eddie Bauer Outlet on the sale rack a few months back, and they're just about perfect. Except they were sent over as "overstock" from the regular store, so there was only the one pair.

I went back to the Eddie Bauer Outlet last week and thought I found more of the great corduroy pants, so I bought two pairs, but it turns out they're a slightly different cut. It's amazing how much 1" lower in the waist can make! I feel like an aspiring plumber when I sit down in them. Back to wearing the long, tucked-in t-shirts, I guess.

I tried on-line shopping as well, thinking I would just order several pairs, try them on, and keep the ones I liked. I liked exactly zero of the six pairs I ordered.

Has anyone else out there who is a size 12 Tall found the perfect pair of pants? Please let me know where! And don't forget, I'm cheap! Let's just say my clothing budget is WAY under $100 a month.

Self-Acceptance

Ben asked me an interesting question the other day. Here's how our conversation went:

Ben: When we're resurrected, do we have to be perfect?

Me: Well, that's how it works, your body becomes perfect. Why?

Ben: What if you like yourself the way you are?

How do you answer that one? I hope he keeps that perspective as he gets older. It's taken me 36 1/2 years and I still don't always like myself the way I am.