Pass the Soap

As Ben got off the bus the other day, the bus driver opened her window and poked her head out.  Not a good sign, since she usually just smiles and waves.  Sure enough, she said, "Ben said a bad word on the bus today." 
As we walked up the driveway, I asked Ben what bad word he said.
"The f-word," he replied, with a little guilty laugh.   
Inward gasp from me, as I tried to stay calm and images of Ralphie in  A Christmas Story flashed through my head. 
"Really?  Do you even know what the f-word is?" I managed to squeak out. 
He pulled me down and whispered in my ear, "f***" 
Yep.  He knows what it is.  "Where'd you hear that word?"
"From one of Nathan's songs on his ipod when we were in the car the other day."  Great, it gets even better! I'm gonna break his ipod!  I thought.
"Well, why did you say it?"
"I don't know.  The kids on the bus said I didn't know what the f-word was and I told them I did.  Then I just said it."
Of course he has no idea what the word means, but I talked to him about how it was a really bad word and that he should never say it again.  I told him I was going to talk to Brad about it and then the gravity of the situation set in.  He was really upset and sorry. 

So that evening I talked to Brad and he talked to Ben.  Brad told him how that was a really dirty word and if he said it again he would have to have his mouth washed out with soap.  Ben said he understood.  Later that night  I was getting the kids ready for bed, and Brad was off playing soccer.  Ben was brushing his teeth and making funny sounds, the most prevalent being "fff...."  Then he asked, "what letters make the ffff sound?"  I told him "ph" and "f".  He kept making the noise, "ffff...." and then it slipped out, "f***" 

Immediately he clapped his hand over his mouth and said, "Don't tell dad! It was an accident."  I told him I had to tell dad, and he was really upset.  He begged and begged and kept saying he was sorry.  I felt really terrible because I knew it was an accident, but I wasn't going to not tell Brad.  Brad didn't get home until after Ben fell asleep, so the first thing Ben asked when he woke up in the morning was, "Did you tell dad?"  When I said, "Yes," he started to cry and begged me not to let him get his mouth washed out.  Getting ready for school was miserable for both of us. 

When he got off the bus after school, he said, "Can we just get this over with?"  So I called Brad and asked if it would be OK if I did the deed.  He said, "If you don't go easy on him."  He knows me so well!  He told me what he was planning to do, and asked if I could handle it.  I said I could. 

I got out the liquid hand soap, squirted a blob on my finger, and swished it around in Ben's mouth.  Immediately he started screaming and crying and spitting.  I gave him cup after cup of water; the bubbles coming out of his mouth were crazy!  And then a few cups of milk when he was crying that it burned his throat.  And then I called Brad and held the phone up so he could hear how much Ben was screaming and crying.   I felt so terrible. 

When Brad got home, he asked Ben if he learned his lesson.  Ben said, "Well, kind of."  Brad asked what he meant, and Ben said, "I don't think I should have been punished because it was an accident that I said it."  Great!  But I think it made a big impression on him and hopefully he'll be able to control himself in the future.

And yes, I did talk to Nathan about the song on his ipod.  He said when he heard the song on the radio, it didn't have the word in it.  He liked the song so he bought it and put it on his ipod, but hadn't listened to it all the way through until the day he was driving Jill and Ben somewhere.  I told him he needed to delete it and he said it would.  Now I need to wash his ears out!